I am shocked, simply shocked, at my assigned reading material for class this semester. I’m taking a course on the rise of the novel, so the homework is reading novels (fun), but particularly naughty novels (more fun).

Fantomina by Eliza Haywood

Fantomina is the story of a proper young lady who fancies the attentions of rake called Beauplaisir. Inspired by a woman at the opera who was “one of those who come there for no other purpose, than to create an acquaintance with as many seem desirous of it,” Fantomina disguises herself as such, picks up Beauplaisir and makes a date with him. She rents out a set of rooms as part of her disguise. They embark on a love affair, until he begins to tire of her.

Beauplaisir goes off to Bath and so does she! Fantomina disguises herself as a maid, and gains the attention of her former lover. They embark on a love affair, until Beauplaisir begins to tire of her.

She then disguises herself as a widow, and asks him for a ride back to London. They embark on a love affair, until Beauplaisir begins to tire of her.

She writes him a letter (in feigned handwriting) as a secret admirer, inviting him to visit her. In the dark. She rents a house, staff, etc. He is escorted into a dark chamber, where they make love. They embark on an affair…you see where this is going.

Beauplaisir never figures her out! We are told that our heroine has such a gift for disguise and acting, and that, coupled with the fact that he would never, ever suspect her, is apparently why he makes love to the same woman over and over none the wiser. I think a more plausible excuse would be that once the lights were dimmed and the clothes off, he wasn’t really thinking at all. But I digress…

Eventually, she becomes pregnant and manages to hide her condition from her mother until the birth (where has that woman been all this time!?). Her mother demands to know the father, Fantomina tells her, and Beauplaisir shows up completely confused. When Fantomina confesses all, he’s a little disturbed (um, yeah….). Her mother does not force him to propose because the fault is not his. His offer to care for the child is rebuffed, and off he goes “more confused that he had ever known in her whole life.” Our heroine ends up in a Monastery is France.

Eliza Haywood was one of the first novelists. Her novel Love In Excess was published the same year as Robinson Crusoe, both were tremendously successful. She was an incredibly prolific author, and often grouped with a in a trio of contemporary female authors that one other writer called “the fair triumvirate of wit.” It is unknown when she was born, but she died in 1756.